Friday, August 19, 2005

Extramarital affairs: Are women really to blame ?

I saw this thread in Vanguard Online. Earlier in the year, the above titled article was published on this column, opening up a huge debate from readers in and out of the country.

Here is one of the submission I read about. I repost it here to share with you.

Dear Yetunde,

I just filtered through the above discussion and I am very delighted to contribute my own opinion about the issue. I must tell you that this culture of “It is un-African for a man to have one wife” would not lead us to anywhere. I want you to know that it is the families that constitute the nation, if the families are unhappy, then the nation is unhappy. Hence, untimely death through hypertension and what have you. Our African men see promiscuity in a man as a fashionable thing, that there is nothing wrong with it. But for women, it is an abomination. I hate extra marital affairs like a plague and every man should see it that way. Let me tell you, even majority of men going to churches are also guilty of this act.

I want to say here, that the accusing fingers men always point at women are just to protect themselves. No matter how virtuous a woman is, that would not prevent a typical African husband from having extra marital affairs. Men are to be blamed. Besides, most men do not see their wives as partner in progress. If you see your wife as your best friend, you would like to confide in her and before you enter into a wrong hand, you would have discussed it with her. I have been married for more than five years now and I have not seen the nakedness of another woman. Not because I am an angel, but my wife is my close confidant and it has really helped in building my family for the Lord.

I also do not agree to the idea of the husband living in Lagos and the wife living in Port Harcourt due to work. This is the major reason why polygamy in whatever way you may call it, is spreading even among educated ones. Adequate arrangement should be made by the family with the help of the employers to cater for this. Men should know that women are just to complement one as far as finances are concerned, they are not to be in fore front of looking for money.

Olaseni Onabiyi (Delta State)

Source : VanGuard Online

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