Thursday, January 20, 2005

Cheating… Why we do it?

Well, we’ve all heard of the infamous 7th year itch. So, does it really exist? Are we all meant to stray after 7 years or does the straying starts way before the 7th year? Personally, I think a more important question to address is what leads us to stray. It’s the illusive question to which there is no clear and concrete answer.

Let’s just ponder for a moment… whenever we hear about affairs, men usually bear the brunt of the blame. It’s sort of a knee jerk reaction; a reaction to the conditioning that we’ve programmed ourselves to based on what we see, hear or experienced. As depicted in most movies and also in real life, guys are the one who initiates affairs and it’s the women as in his wife who suffers. At this day and age, I’d say the number of men and women who get entangled in an affair are just about equal.

At the end of the day, it still boils down to the question WHY? Why do we do it? There are a thousand and one justifications for an affair. The most common one being, it JUST HAPPENED! Well, to be perfectly honest, things just don’t happen or at least it won’t happen without us being conscious of it at some point and us condoning to it. The “Just Happened” situation usually starts out in a situation where 2 persons spend an excessive amount of time together.

It could be that you are put together to work on some project at work or both of you form a partnership. Whatever the reason, when you spend a lot of time together, conversation tend to steer away from just work and a sense of familiarity is bound to develop and this often leads to the start of an affair if either one initiate it. It could also happen if someone is going thru a rough patch in their relationship or marriage. This is because we tend to find comfort and solace in the person we are in constant contact with.

The fact that many women now join the workforce and have a career puts stress on the marriage institution. Couples now spend more time apart than together. Time spent apart can make you lose touch with each other and then suddenly realization hits you! You’ve drifted apart and your co-worker understands you better than your spouse. So, you end up being attracted to your co-worker thus very likely marks the start of an affair.

For some, the need to relive the exhilaration of being in love drives them to an affair. This happen to couples who have been married for a while and the novelty of romance has sort of worn off. Life and marriage fell into a predictable routine, you start taking each other for granted and the relationship with your spouse may have degenerated to the kind where it’s like brother/sister kind of love. Not the HOT PASSIONATE kind of love that puts a rush of adrenalin into your blood!

Unlike men, women normally delved into affairs out of loneliness. The craving for companionship is what drives a woman to seek solace in another man’s arms. It rarely happens out of lust or to relive the exhilaration of forbidden sex. That is what sets women and men apart in their quest for affairs.

All About Cheating