Why a Wife Cannot Afford to Be the Last One to Know

Like most wives whose husbands are having extramarital affairs, Christie Brinkley was the last one to know that her husband, Peter Cook was cheating on her.

The statements below, taken from Christie´s testimony during the sensational Brinkley-Cook divorce trial, make that all too clear.

'I felt really stupid. Why didn't I know? Why wasn't I aware of this."

" . . . all the while he was carrying on like this behind my back."

"I was shocked!"

These statements made by Christie are typical of the statements made by millions of unsuspecting wives after finding out about their husbands´ extramarital affairs. It brings to mind that old saying, "The wife is always the last to know."

Unfortunately, that saying still holds true.

At least 2/3 of the women whose husbands are cheating on them have no idea their husbands are having an affair -- because they fail to recognize the telltale signs.

Help for Unsuspecting Wives

Yet no matter how carefully a cheater tries to cover his tracks, there are ALWAYS plenty of signs to be found. Knowing what to look for is the key.

That´s one of the reasons I wrote Is He Cheating on You? - 829 Telltale Signs, which covers practically every known sign of infidelity, including the subtle signs women usually overlook. I firmly believe that if more women knew how to spot the signs of infidelity -- particularly the early warning signs - more marriages could be saved.

For marriages that can´t be salvaged, spotting the sign of infidelity early on, and knowing that a divorce may be in the works, will give a betrayed wife enough lead time to take steps to minimize some of the damage infidelity can cause.

3 Reasons You Can´t Afford to Be the Last to Know

In this day and age, a wife with a cheating husband cannot afford to be the last to know. If your husband is cheating on you, there, are three very important reasons you need to find out before it´s too late."

Save your Marriage - The sooner you find out about your husband´s affair, the sooner you can seek professional help to save your marriage. The longer the affair goes undetected, the more time your husband has to bond with his mistress, and the harder it will be to get your marriage back on track. By the time you finally find out about the affair, it may already have reached the point of no return.

Protect Yourself Legally and Financially - If your husband´s affair eventually leads to a divorce, you don´t want to be caught by surprise. The sooner you find out he´s having an affair, the sooner you can get legal and financial advice, just in case a divorce is in the works. Depending on your financial situation, and whether or not you have children, you may need to put certain financial and legal safeguards in place.


Safeguard Your Health - Your husband´s extramarital affair can be hazardous to your health. If he´s having unprotected sex, you´re at risk for HIV/AIDS and a host of other sexually-transmitted diseases. The sooner you find out he´s having sex with someone else, the sooner you can start protecting yourself by either abstaining or practicing safe sex until you get the matter sorted out. And the sooner you can get tested for HIV/AIDS.

Become Familiar with the Signs of Infidelity

When it comes to infidelity and extramarital affairs, ignorance is not bliss. If your husband is cheating, you can´t afford to be the last to know. By the time you find out it may be too late. Familiarize yourself with the signs of infidelity - both the subtle and the obvious telltale signs. The future of your marriage may one day depend on your ability to recognize those signs in time.

About Ruth Houston:

Infidelity expert Ruth Houston is the founder of Infidelity Advice and the author of Is He Cheating on You? - 829 Telltale Signs, which lists practically every known sign of infidelity, including the subtle signs women usually overlook.

Social Security after Divorce

A friend of mine told me about this but I am not sure how true and whether applicable to you or not. Just check with your lawyer first.

Here's the write up submitted ...

There are some social security benefits in being divorced. You are, as you know, entitled to social security benefits both before and after divorce based on your own earnings record. If, however, you have been married for ten years or more then you are also entitled to social security benefits based on the earnings of your spouse even after divorce.

You can only do this if you do not remarry or up till you get remarried. This ten year issue is important though, not just for social security.

If you have been married for a period of about nine years before the marriage breaks down then it might be a good idea not to get divorced immediately. You could file for separation for the period of time it will take for you to complete those ten years together.

It is a good idea to consult and accountant or, better, an attorney about this and see what benefits there are in being married for this ten year period.

As already mentioned these benefits are void if you remarry. You will be entitled to benefits from your new partner's earnings but the same rules will apply. That means you will have to be married for ten years to get the same benefits again.

A few hundred dollars, an Internet connection and a little curiosity ...

It can be good or evil, depending on your intention. With the new and advance technology, you can setup your own little spying zone in a quick manner.

I think I will be using it to monitor what my maid is doing when I am not at home. Just need to give some trust to my wife.

Here's the story for today ...

FORT LAUDERDALE, Fla. -- As a private investigator, Jim Bender has tracked everything from straying spouses to strung-out trust-fund babies -- sometimes following them for days at a time.

But thanks to an innovative GPS device the size of a matchbox, he can now stake out a cheating husband without leaving his Fort Lauderdale office. Or, as he has done recently, help a major company figure out who is draining the diesel fuel from its big rigs.

Technological advances have revolutionized the surveillance business, making devices smaller, cheaper and more effective than ever. And not just for professional snoops like Bender, but for everyday people.

"Anybody can be a spy now," said Todd Myers, president of Computer Sights, a computer support and surveillance supply store in Fort Lauderdale.

All it takes is a few hundred dollars, an Internet connection and a little curiosity.

Think that's just a smoke detector? Look a little closer and you'll see a camera's lens. Those flood lights hanging from the ceiling? They're more illuminating than you think.

For PIs like Bender, the improved equipment has led to improved service. However, it's also given Peeping Toms a new way to gawk.

Spencer Krumholz, marketing director of World Imports International in Pompano Beach, Fla., faces a lawsuit from two of the company's employees.

His offense? He hid a camera in the ceiling of the women's bathroom, according to court records.

Last year, a Connecticut man wired a shampoo bottle with a tiny camera so he could watch his two female roommates as they showered, according to police. Someone discovered it, and Steven Thibodeau was arrested on voyeurism charges.

He later admitted to the crime and received probation. A judge ordered Thibodeau to stay away from cameras and computers.

Legal uses

For the most part, however, the equipment is used by people to protect their interests.

A few months back, Myers sold a well-tailored businessman who suspected his wife was cheating on him a $300 WiLife digital clock, equipped with a spy camera. The man put the clock on his bedside nightstand, and the images it captured were sent, through the power lines, to a computer.

The executive set up the system to alert him, via text message, if there was movement in the master bedroom while he was at work.

The next day, his cell phone went off. With just a few clicks of his office computer, he pulled up the video.

There was his wife and another man "making whoopie" on the couple's bed, Myers said.

The husband copied the feed and sent it off to his attorney, who drew up the divorce papers. The video saved the man millions in alimony, he later told Myers.

Source : http://www.postbulletin.com/newsmanager/templates/localnews_story.asp?z=20&a=347535